A pain I can control

One of the questions I get most often as I proudly show friends pictures of our current foster(s) is, "How do you let them go?".  This is followed by the statement, "I could never do what you do".  Even other people involved in rescue--transporters, adoption event volunteers, fundraising organizers, etc--are often afraid to commit to fostering.  My answer is surprisingly simple.  The pain is one I can control.

Without waxing too poetic, there's a lot of bad stuff out there in the world.  Stuff I have ZERO control over.  Stuff I can't begin to understand.  But the pain of seeing a happy, healthy dog leave my arms to go to a forever family that loves it... well that's temporary.  Don't get me wrong, I cry the whole way home.  Every time.  Like. An. Idiot.  The pain of seeing photos of dogs that I could not save...that never goes away.  Those innocent faces haunt my nightmares.

In my opinion, fostering is THE most important aspect of rescue.  You might disagree with me on this point, but the fact stands that most rescues do not have a physical location.  This means that no matter how badly they want to help an animal, there is no way to do it unless the car that gives the animal a freedom ride has somewhere to go.  Adoption events are crucial, veterinary expenses are critical, and networking is vital, but again, none of this would matter if there were no fosters.

Where are we going?

You see a litter of cute puppies in the shelter and think, "Oh!  I want to help!".  Followed by a steady stream of:
My dogs will throw a fit
My cat will throw a fit
My husband will throw a fit
My kids will throw a fit (although this will be an excited fit, not a what-is-wrong-with-you fit)
It will eat my shoes
It will eat my furniture
It will eat my flowers
It will pee on my rug
It will poop in my house
It will cry
I'll have to crate train it
What if it needs medicine
What if it doesn't get adopted in 1.5 days
What if....

What if I get attached


There is a well-known term for this:  Foster Failure

"Compassion is fostering a homeless animal"

Look at me, being all clever and posting this as my facebook profile pic....and then we ended up adopting this dog.  womp-womp.  Foster failures.  So it definitely does happen, but it is actually frowned upon by many rescue groups.  Why???  Because if you choose to keep an animal, that usually means you can't foster another.

My first foster failure ALMOST happened a few years ago.  Her name was Bella.

She was terrified of people.  Even after living with us for several weeks, she still preferred to stay on her bed in a room by herself.  I always wonder what humans have done to poor souls like this to make them so afraid.

Those are my two hoodlums napping in the background

I called her my Bella Blue because she always looked so sad.  One day, at the gym with a friend, I got a text from a volunteer at our adoption event that said, "Some people have filled out an app on Bella".  I immediately burst into tears.  I actually am tearing up right now just thinking about it.  "Who are they?  Do they have kids? She can't be around kids!  Do they have other dogs???  She needs to be an only dog!"  I looked for any excuse to say no.  Which is the crazy rescue lady response, not the acceptable, normal one.  As it turned out, they were perfect.  And as shy as she was, she actually bonded with them immediately.

Seeing her go broke my heart, but looking at the steady stream of doggy-faces that came after her, little ones that I would not have been able to save if I had kept her, gives me peace.  A pain I can control.

Yes, your shoes *might* get eaten, and your rug *might* get peed on.  Is an animal's life worth less than a pair of shoes?  Maybe some people wear fancier shoes than I do...  Of course this is a simplification, but I promise that if you give fostering a try, you'll see what I mean.  Hey, I might even buy you a replacement pair of shoes.  ;)


xoxo,


---the Mazie's Mission family